Help for professionals and parents for when a child has been harmed online

Overview

Marie Collins Foundation Director of Services, Vicki Green, talks about what to do when you discover a child you are working with has suffered sexual abuse online.

Background

The vision of the Marie Collins Foundation is for all children who suffer sexual abuse facilitated by the internet and mobile technologies, and associated offline abuse, to recover and live safe and fulfilling lives, free from fear and positive about their futures.

it is much more likely that abuse will be discovered rather than disclosed and we must consider the specific impact of this discovery on the child.

As part of our work towards fulfilling this vision we offer direct services to children and their families affected by online sexual abuse, we work alongside those assisting children in their recovery and we also provide training for professionals. One of our key messages is that recovery starts at the point of discovery, and that our response to a disclosure or discovery of online sexual abuse will impact on the recovery process for the child involved.

Due to the nature of grooming, it is much more likely that abuse will be discovered rather than disclosed and we must consider the specific impact of this discovery on the child. They are likely to be feeling all sorts of emotions, including shame, fear and disgust, and they are unlikely to want to talk to us about it. It is essential that we respond in the right way to prevent the possibility of further harm.

We have produced a package of resources aimed at helping children to recover from online sexual abuse. The resources contain similar messages and advice but are tailored to different audiences; one for professionals and one for parents/carers, with a further resource for children themselves currently in development.

How the digital resilience framework is relevant

The resources are not intended to be primary preventative resources for online sexual harm, but instead to focus on recovery and harm minimisation first to enable children to go on to develop resilience and therefore be less likely to be revictimized in the future. All four aspects of the framework are reflected within both resources.

As part of the recovery process we emphasise that the ‘choice’ was not the child’s.

An individual can recover when things go wrong online by receiving the appropriate level of support to aid recovery.

The resources give a clear message that children can and do recover from online sexual abuse, and can go on to live happy, safe and fulfilling lives. This depends on the support provided to the child and their family, and the right messages must be given from the very start once the abuse is disclosed or discovered. Guidance as to the correct support is given within the resources.

An individual understands when they are at risk online and can make informed decisions about the digital space they are in.

Part of the recovery process for a child who has been sexually abused online is to understand what, how and why this has happened to them. Many will not know that they have been groomed by skilled perpetrators and will be left feeling that what happened is, in some way, their fault. It is essential that the messages we give include that they are not to blame and the responsibility is placed entirely upon the perpetrator. Our experience is that when a child understands what happened, why and how, they are more likely to identify situations in the future which make them feel unsafe or uncomfortable. The resources remind us about brain development and viewing the child in the context of the biological imperative to take risks. It is about reducing the harm.

An individual knows what to do to seek help from a range of appropriate resources.

The resources provide information to professionals and parents/carers on what to do when they become aware of a child being sexually abused online, either by disclosure or discovery, and advice on how best to respond. Children and their families may require additional support and resources from other sources so we have included contact information for other organisations within the resources. When a child realises they will not be blamed for what has happened they are more likely to seek help if needed in the future

An individual learns from their experiences and is able to adapt their future choices, where possible.

Again, as part of the recovery process we emphasise that the ‘choice’ was not the child’s. These resources assist professionals, parents and carers in recognising the fact the ‘choice’ was removed from the child. They did not choose to be abused. By understanding the grooming process, the adults around the child will be able to work with the child to recognise the methodology adopted by groomers thereby building their resilience against future abuse. This can be a complex process and will take time.

Why the digital resilience framework was helpful

We are dedicated to meeting the needs of children who have been sexually abused online. By using the Framework’s message of Understand, Know, Learn and Recover we can ensure that our work and our resources include discussion around each point so that they can help young people to become more resilient in the future and also help parents and professionals to support young people to do so.